11 people and the things I learned from them

1. Don't ever consider the time you take to do something simple, but kind, a waste. Sis. Shawn Bastian in Arizona wrote me a note just before we left that was so kind it brings tears to my eyes every time I read it and to this day I carry it with me in my wallet to reread in those moments when I feel like a failure. It's better than Prozac!

2. You are never too old to bless the lives of others. There was an older sister (in her 80s I believe) in our ward in Arizona named Norvella Shurtz (I may have spelled her first name wrong) who was completely awesome!! I first met her at a RS activity where she was helping people learn how to do some simple quilting. Another sister already made me feel dumb for not knowing what a slip-stitch was--but along comes Sis. Shurtz! She not only did not make me feel dumb, she taught me to not let other people stop me from learning things. And she became a great friend that also taught me so many things about home preparedness I can't even name them all here. My favorite--ALWAYS make sure you have extra toilet paper! When I was leaving, she wanted me to have one of the baby blankets she made for people even though I didn't have a baby anymore and all she had was one for a boy. How wise she was! I completely forgot about it until I started this post and I am going to find it in our boxes and start using it for Isaac today--yea for blogging to jog the memory!
3. You can save money by using a budget. Ok, this one I learned from watching someone else. Suzanne Bree in fact. When people who have money manage to save money, it's not real impressive or motivating. When someone who does not have a lot (and hey, Suzanne's husband is in the Army--I know what he made and I can count how many kids they had--I am basing this off of when we knew them in Arizona) manages to save money, it really opens your eyes and makes you wonder what you might be missing. This budget thing is new for us but I think the prophet and apostles might have given good counsel on this one. :-)
4. Now this one is from long ago and I can only remember her first name because she sold smocked baby dresses under the name "Robin's nest". So Robin lived in Georgia and had six kids. I had two at the time and remember once when I was in and out and in and out of sacrament meeting with the boys, asking her in the hallway, how she kept doing it every week--you know, dragging all those kids to church when she never got to enjoy the meetings at all. I waited for a deeply spiritual answer (because she really had a great knowledge of the gospel) and she narrowed her eyes and looked right at me and said, "Because you can't let them win." Meaning the kids. Too funny. And too true. What 2 year old wants to sit still for that long? You do it because you believe in the outcome. Not long after that I talked to another lady in the ward about going to stake conference. I didn't know her very well because she never came to church (I think I was her visiting teacher) and she mentioned not wanting to sit through a 2 hour meeting with her ill-behaved kids. I looked across the room at my 1 and 3 year old and agreed wholeheartedly. Then I asked how old her kids were. She said, "15 and 17." Umm, yeah. Robin was right. You can't let them win. No one will benefit from it.
5. My father-in-law once had all his family gathered around him and he taught us two things. I may not have him quoted exactly right but here's the gist of it--to his sons, he said, "Never break your wife's heart". That kind of always stuck with me because I realized there are things I could do that could hurt someone so much it may never be completely fixable. Learning to control myself is not such a bad thing. And the other thing he taught us all--"Do not fart in the shower--the smell has nowhere to go." :-) Priceless.
6. It's ok to let people get to know you. This one I learned from Laura Richards. I can't get into her blog anymore but I get it in my email. This may sound funny but she blogs regularly and it's become a little like getting that new magazine you've been waiting for in the mail when I am able to sit down and read her posts. She struggles too with worrying about "what will people think?" and you kind of take a chance that people will be mean but if she were ever to stop blogging, it would take one of those little bright moments in the day from me. Maybe I give them to others sometimes too.
7. Don't judge people by their appearance (I probably still need to work on this one though). In Oklahoma I started becoming good friends with a sister in the ward named Joanna Sorenson. She had several kids and I noticed she would wear the same dress every week. Jer and I were certainly not rolling in the dough then (or now) and I felt more comfortable with someone who I thought struggled with money like me. I mean, even I could afford more than one dress. One day I was asked to take her family a meal which I was more than willing to do. I nearly choked when I drove up to her house! It was a mansion! Grand piano right inside the door and everything and I came to find out her husband was the head of the ER at the hospital there. So I finally asked her about the one dress every week and she tells me she would not let herself get another dress until she was the size she wanted. Which she did accomplish and I know she had the time of her life getting a new wardrobe. :-) But yeah, don't rush to judgment if someone wears the same thing all the time.
8. My home is my office. My good friend from Alaska, Dixie Gengler, taught me this one. She had a lovely home and I remember her telling her husband since she was home all day, the house was her office and it needed to be the way she wanted it. I love this idea because it just makes what I do feel important enough to have the place in which I do it deserve to look great--which is nice when you're wiping up throw-up, or dealing with bedsheets from another accident, or changing diapers...you get the picture.
9. It's the little things that your grandkids will remember. This one I learned from my grandmothers. One grandmother would send a pencilbox for each of us at Christmas with office supplies and "irregular" pantyhose :-) (not sure what my brother got) and one time when she visited, she gave me a lipstick that was candy! I remember my other grandmother making homemade fudge, doll clothes for my barbie and once for me and my 2 sisters, she made these lovely "lamp" dolls that I will never forget. I never knew either of my grandmothers very well. They lived far away and we didn't see them that often growing up, but while I can't remember what else I got for most Christmas gifts, I distincly remember their gifts. And now Jer's mom and my mom are making lovely memories for our kids.

10. The church lesson manuals don't lie. I was actually going to post something a few weeks ago about how the manual for the Sunbeam class lied. It says in there that kids will enjoy you singing songs with them no matter how you sound. I thought--LIES! I am sort of tone deaf I think. I can hear that I sound terrible but I don't know how to fix the sound coming out. Well, the Sunbeam lessons involve a LOT of songs. I really wanted to use them but was going to wait until I brought my ipod in to cover me. So one week I tried to sing some songs with them and I felt like it went just terribly. You know how judgmental 3 years old can be. :-) But before I could blog about how the church lesson manual lied, another week came, I forgot my ipod again and I decided to give it another shot. While I'm singing in my quiet, weak voice, this little boy named Elias stopped what he was doing and stared at me. I went faster to finish the song before he could throw a tomato at me or worse--break out in tears-- and when I stopped, I looked over at him and this huge smile broke out on his face, he clapped his hands and squealed, "Do it again! Again!" So I did and we have been having a ball in our class since then!! Thanks, Elias.

11. If you are bored, you are boring. This one was also learned by kind of watching someone. Darsha Stanley in fact. Boy, is she a riot. She's just one of those people who you always have fun around, no matter how "boring" the setting. I would listen to my boys complain about how such and such activity was "boring" or I would hear other people say things like that as if we should all run over to entertain them, and I would think, well, if my friend Darsha was here, it wouldn't be boring. And I came to the conclusion (and I tell the boys this all the time), that if you are bored, you are boring!

This definitely doesn't end the list of things I've learned from others but I'm still stuck on my 11's for this year. That was fun, you should try it.